As the title implies I was once an apologetic feminist. You are probably asking yourself, “what is an apologetic feminist?” To answer that question, you need to know what a feminist is.
- A feminist is an individual who supports feminism.
- Feminism is the theory of political, economic and social equality of the sexes, per Merriam Webster.
And apologetic, you ask?
- feeling or showing regret; regretfully acknowledging fault or failure: expressing an apology (Thanks again MW!)
So yes, I regretted being a feminist. Logically, I wanted political, economic and social equality of the sexes but I felt bad about it. I bought into the feminist shrew image, the version of the feminist with the bull horn, hair on your legs, no make-up, gender-blurring, man-hating bitch.
What took me 38 years to realize is that this mental image is designed to force a decision, you are either a woman or a feminist but you can’t be both. The idea that to be a feminist and demand the same opportunity as a man represented a loss of womanhood. It was a social construct designed to make you feel “weird” or “wrong” for not accepting the status quo. The old, “push the different one out of the pack” mentality.
Shamefully, I thought I could be a feminist but I would need to apologize for it and make sure that people knew I wasn’t the stereotype. I discovered that I was wrong. I have nothing to apologize for, my daughters have nothing to apologize for.
- It is not wrong to demand equality socially, politically and economically.
- A world should not exist in which assault-proof underwear are a product you can buy.
- I deserve to make as much money as a man who performs the same work.
- It is not ok for a business to justify paying me less because I have children and may not be as devoted to my job. Which studies show is false.
- My daughters should not be forced to cover their shoulders and alter their clothing choices because the boys would be distracted.
- My uterus should not be a point of debate.
- Choosing to end a pregnancy should be a choice and not subject to government regulation.
- I am not a wedge issue and refuse to accept the status quo.
- I should not be penalized with higher insurance premiums because I’m a woman.
- My daughters have the right to grow up in a world in which their value is not judged by their appearance but rather the strength of their character.
I am a woman, I am a feminist and I’m not sorry.