The unapologetic feminist

As the title implies I was once an apologetic feminist.  You are probably asking yourself, “what is an apologetic feminist?”  To answer that question, you need to know what a feminist is.

  • A feminist is an individual who supports feminism.
  • Feminism is the theory of political, economic and social equality of the sexes, per Merriam Webster.

And apologetic, you ask?

  • feeling or showing regret; regretfully acknowledging fault or failure:  expressing an apology (Thanks again MW!)

So yes, I regretted being a feminist.  Logically, I wanted political, economic and social equality of the sexes but I felt bad about it.  I bought into the feminist shrew image, the version of the feminist with the bull horn, hair on your legs, no make-up, gender-blurring, man-hating bitch.  suffragette

What took me 38 years to realize is that this mental image is designed to force a decision, you are either a woman or a feminist but you can’t be both.  The idea that to be a feminist and demand the same opportunity as a man represented a loss of womanhood.   It was a social construct designed to make you feel “weird” or “wrong” for not accepting the status quo.  The old, “push the different one out of the pack” mentality.

Shamefully, I thought I could be a feminist but I would need to apologize for it and make sure that people knew I wasn’t the stereotype.   I discovered that I was wrong.  I have nothing to apologize for, my daughters have nothing to apologize for.

  1. It is not wrong to demand equality socially, politically and economically.
  2. A world should not exist in which assault-proof underwear are a product you can buy.
  3. I deserve to make as much money as a man who performs the same work.
  4. It is not ok for a business to justify paying me less because I have children and may not be as devoted to my job.  Which studies show is false.
  5. My daughters should not be forced to cover their shoulders and alter their clothing choices because the boys would be distracted.
  6. My uterus should not be a point of debate.
  7. Choosing to end a pregnancy should be a choice and not subject to government regulation.
  8. I am not a wedge issue and refuse to accept the status quo.
  9. I should not be penalized with higher insurance premiums because I’m a woman.
  10. My daughters have the right to grow up in a world in which their value is not judged by their appearance but rather the strength of their character.

I am a woman, I am a feminist and I’m not sorry.

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